i'm putting my head down

Days come along when you want to pull your hair out...

And throw your keys...

And kick the nearest wall...

And scream or glare at everyone...

Days when you don't want to do

what you really really need to do.

Guess what???

That's how I feel.

...Except...

I don't particularly want to pull my hair out...

and my toes are sensitive, so I probably won't kick any walls...

and I haven't used my keys so far today...

and I'm not really in the screaming mood...

I just really don't want to do

what I really really need to do.

Blah...

Sometimes....Life isn't as happy as I wish it was.

Sometimes....Things don't turn out the way I wish they would.

Sometimes....I just want to lay on the floor with the lights off and stare at the dark.

Sometimes....is right now.

Heat and Warmth...Where have you gone to??

I'm not pretending when I say that it's cold and I'm cold. It is a true fact that I am stating. Right now, I am wearing a long sleeve shirt, my winter coat, my hand knitted mittens (made my aunt Melissa) and a blanket...oh and two pairs of socks...I AM COLD!

Cold is coming; winter is on it's way. The mountain tops are snow covered and the mornings are frosted; what's the date again? Oh yeah: October 5th! I may sound like I'm complaining, but really, I'm loving it. I love this time of year. I love the temperature outside and I love the feeling I get when I step out the door. Yay for 50-60 degrees! Yay for long sleeve shirts, jackets, jeans and gloves! Yay for Autumn! :D

PROVO CANYON SNOW (pretty!)

We Almost Died.

Remember that time when I said that college is an adventure? Well, wow, it sure is.

Yesterday, after the greatest trip to the DI ever made, Michelle, Kim and I came back to our apartment and chatted and waited for Jason (Kim's boyfriend) to show up to take her to play tennis and dance in the "rain." Also while we waited, I decided I wanted pizza for dinner, so I preheated the oven. The preheating process took FOREVER. Practically an hour later I was able to place the delicious, frozen cheese pizza in the oven and set the timer to 21 minutes. Michelle was standing by (Jason had finally come, so Kim was gone) as I placed the pizza in the oven and after about a minute a small explosion happened inside the oven: the pan had moved itself. Weird.

I needed to write a rough draft for my English class (due today), but I wanted to watch a movie with Michelle, so I hurried into my room to try and write while my pizza was cooking so maybe I could finish the paper and then enjoy my pizza while watching Disney's Pocahontas.

Didn't work out quite like I had hoped...

About 18 minutes into writing--I was deep in thought--I heard a huge explosion. Honestly, my immediate thought was, "OH NO! MY PIZZA!" I thought my pizza had blown up. I ran out of my room and down the hall; Michelle was at the end of the hall, so I made my way toward her. I didn't smell smoke and the smoke alarm wasn't going off: my pizza was safe. Then, the fire alarm starting screaming outside our apartment door. We started screaming and shaking and we were definitely in panic. The only other person home was Clare: our very shy, but awesome, roommate. Michelle yelled that we needed to leave. My thought: MY PIZZA! There were 23 seconds left. I started towards the oven, but Michelle again made it known that we had to get out, so I sprinted down the hallway, put on some shoes--and got my phone--and sprinted back down the hallway to Michelle and Clare. We opened the door to leave and the screaming fire alarm became an even louder scream, since the sound was no longer muffled by our thick door. There were other Winterhaven tenants out there just standing around so I was thinking: what the heck? We're obviously not living our last few moments of life or else these people would be freaking out like us. Greg--a fellow winterhaven tenant--told me what had happened after I yelled at the top of my lungs to find out. All the while, me and Michelle are shaking uncontrollably.

Some stupid college kid had made a stupid bomb thing with bathroom cleaner and something else and it blew up like he intended it to. Dumb immature college guy trying to give me a heart attack, pretty much. And holy cow did it work--not really. I'm not dead, guys.

We were told it was safe to stay in our apartment, so we gladly did so...but man were we still shaking. The fire alarm was still going off and it was loud. I got to eat my pizza, though. I ate while we replayed aloud the events that had just happened. While I enjoyed my delectable cheese pizza, I called my mom and told her the whole story, still in a panic. And later we told Melanie--another roommate--when she came home and when Kim and Jason got back, we told them the story, too. It's definitely a story worth telling.

So...We almost died. Not from a "bomb" exploding, but from each of us having almost-heart attacks. This event is just another thing in favor of my resolution: College sure is an Adventure.

There's a First Time for EVERYTHING!

Week 1: Worth it!

As Kim and I walked to the UVU campus early Wednesday morning, I started to regret the fact that I chose to go to college and that I moved away from home. I was getting way nervous and didn't want to go...my stomach churning and tying itself into knots...what'd I get myself into? We had to depart once we got to the UVU Library so I continued the journey to my first College class alone. I found my way, sat down at a desk and got out my notebook and pen. English.

Two things: 1) Small class=good news; 2) Teacher likes to debate.

Another thing: He (the teacher) sure doesn't like to finish the words he writes on the board.

What I've learned so far: Listen to the teacher very carefully so that you know what to write down (because you can't read what he's writing) and it's obviously super important to pay attention to current events and to have opinions about them.

8:50 AM came and I head to Psychology. I apparently don't know where I'm going. Now remember, this is still my first day and the day before I guess I forgot to find where that class was. Oops. So, I got lost. I was freaking out a little, but I decided to step out of my comfort zone and ask someone for help; she gave me some help and I head in the direction she pointed. Here I learn it's possible for a young looking man to have a deeper voice than an old man. The young looking man is my teacher and his voice...wow...it's so deep. It should be fun though. It's a bigger class, but only about 30 or so, nothing like 500, thanks goodness!

From there I sat in the Library for about an hour and forty-five minutes because my next class wasn't until 1:00, which is something stupid that I did. Three hour break? Not very fun...but, I did talk to Megan on facebook and my mom on the phone and watched some interesting music videos. I was listening to my music through headphones this whole time and at one point almost started to bust out into song; I had forgotten where I was. I saved myself the embarrassment and hurried to remember I was in the Library and not my room. I left the Library and ate some lunch, met a girl named Allison, bought a book I need for English, walked around...then finally it was almost 1:00 and I went to class. Weird, weird lady that teaches my class. SUPER passionate about what she teaches. Class: Watermedia. Translation: Watercolor Painting.

I got to witness a little piece of heaven after my painting class. He was beautiful. His voice gave me the chills. He reminded me of someone. The chills that I got reminded me of a time, a good time. A time I miss. I'm so glad that he came back the next day and I'm SO glad that he's having a concert coming up quite soon! Yay!:)

Later on that day (we're still on wednesday), something terrible happened. Actually, two horrible things happened. Two horrible things that I almost doubted that I had experienced Heaven earlier that day! Kim, Michelle and I were going to visit Shelby and I peeked at my Speedometer like I always do because I'm super cautious about my speed because my heart would quite literally stop if I ever got pulled over. Anything, I peeked down and...and...MY SPEEDOMETER WASN'T MOVING!!! It was a horrible thing to see and I was freaking out. I was pretty much screaming and Michelle and Kim were laughing at me. Finally, we parked and it wouldn't be fixed. Michelle's dad's diagnosis: Slow and Painful death to my car. Wow. What a downer on my night, for sure. We eventually got to Shelby's place. Kim drove. Shelby is so cool. I rather enjoy her presence. Same with Kim and Michelle; oh I love those girls. And together we have a some great adventures. That night, as we walked and frolicked and danced our way towards Krista's apartment, Kim lost her phone. Satan had apparently possessed it while it soaked in the wet grass. Great. Poor Kim!:(

Thursday and Friday were just as big of adventures as wednesday. Except on Thursday I got a free snow cone while enjoying Allred's beautiful music with Michelle. That was a great, great time.

So, what it comes down to is that College is pretty much an Adventure. There's so much to experience. Classes are mostly good; on an overall scale I think I'll enjoy them. My roommates are great girls and I'm glad they are who they are. Grocery Shopping for myself is all I've ever dreamed of, but a little bit more overwhelming: it's hard to choose what to buy! I miss all my other friends a ton, each and every day, but it's not like our friendships are over; thank goodness!

Basically, college update #1: Good.

Some People Should Not Be Put In Charge Of Making Decisions...

It's official...and I really don't think it could get any more official after today: I very much dislike airports and airlines and everything in between!!! I was supposed to head home from Maine earlier today, but someone obviously had different plans for me. I suppose it's meant to be...but whatever the case, I am still in Maine. The flight that I was supposed to be on was overbooked, so of course, with my luck, I was the one who was booted off. They didn't let me on the plane and I had to wait around for almost two hours trying to get things straightened out with the Man at the Gate 2 counter. Stressful hours those were, for sure! I am a sensitive, emotional person, so being put into situations like that just isn't good for me: they wipe me out. After finally getting things sorted out--getting a free round trip ticket for anywhere in the US and my tickets for 7:00 in the morning to go home on FIRST CLASS (all that's a good trade for them almost giving me a nervous breakdown)--I came back to Danny and Brenna's house and crashed on the couch for two and a half hours because I was so emotionaly drained. Please, don't ever make me do that again!
Other than all the messes I've had to deal with at airports trying to get here and go home, this trip has been worthwhile and quite fun. I like Maine; it's nice! It can be expected that I will come back again, I don't know when, but I will...someday. As for the free round trip ticket, I'm thinking New York!:)